I Think I Ate a Rat!

Now that I’m living in Bangkok, I’m finding I am more besieged by strange thoughts and goofy experiences than ever before. So, here are my short takes—constantly updated odds and ends about living in the Land of Smiles.

April 10—It’s not the cars in Bangkok traffic that one worries about, it’s the motorcycles. When one crosses the street, twisting and dodging through the clogged and stalled traffic, one is wise to stop at the edge of each lane and peer down the narrow gap between columns of cars. To just walk from lane to lane is to run the risk of being clobbered by a two-wheeler speeding between the rows of cars.

March 13—I think I ate rat! Walking home down my soi, I saw a vendor cooking skewers of meat chunks, about 3” x 2”. “Chicken!” he said. I bought one for 3 baht and put it in the fridge. Next day, I took the snack out for lunch. Instead of what I thought was part of a breast of chicken, I found what seemed like a rib cage and very little meat. I nibbled; definitely not chicken. I investigated the chunk again. Not the configuration for chicken, either. Could it be? Nawww, they wouldn’t be selling THAT would they? I don’t know, but I think I’ll just pass that vendor by in the future.

March 6—Don’t wear tightly woven silk shirts here. Just thinking about it can bring on a dank sweat. Last night, I donned a beautiful green shirt and headed down my soi for the 15 minute walk to the SkyTrain. By the time I stepped into its a/c bliss, the fabric was glued to my back and suspicious stains appeared on the front. Disembarking at Sala Daeng station near Patpong, I stumbled down the street looking for T-shirts.

My state of distress must have been evident. As I selected a cotton Calvin Klein knock off for 180Bht, the vendor asked, “Are you hot? You can change right now.”

Long live cotton, the fabric of MY life. . . .

SkyTrain is great. The Bangkok Transit System (BTS) light rapid transit is clean, swift and efficient. The Thais, however, haven’t figured out yet that their efficiency will mount when they wait for riders to disembark before embarking.

SkyTrain, take 2: A ride is overpriced for the average Thai working stiff. BTS had dropped its prices with a “Stored Value” ticket promotion, which could work out to a 25% discount. The special was to end March 4^th, but immediately, BTS announced a two-month extension. As one local Farang denizen told me, “Which is their way around saying that the prices are still two high.” Unfortunately, the 200 Bt (plus 30 Bt deposit) minimum fee necessary to purchase the ticket may still be too high for the poor stiffs who scrape to put together a four Bt bus ride.

March 7—My apologies to the citizenry of Bangkok. Now, I know why they push onto the BTS, instead of waiting for the people to disembark—I took a bus today. The buses don’t actually stop; they lurch for a moment to allow the riders to get off, driver revving his motor impatiently—then the carriage begins to move out while the new customers are desperately trying to leap on.

My guess is that it will take the locals some time to adapt to the concept of the train not stranding riders on the dock.

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Email Mike at thaimexico2003@yahoo.com

Last updated: January 8, 2006.